Global Health
Dedicated to the misunderstood conditions of modern living. We track pollen, automate filial piety, and treat every push notification like a medical emergency.
Research Pillars
Our Core Programs
Three interdisciplinary teams. One person. Zero funding.
Extreme Pollen Tracking
Living in fear of Coquitlam grass counts. We monitor every sneeze, every watery eye, and every suspicious dandelion with the urgency of a weather alert.
Current reading: dangerously grassy
Advanced Mom Pleasing
Crafting automated recipes and photo evidence to prove we are still alive. Timestamps, plate angles, and the occasional 'yes, I ate it' compliance report.
Security Alert Connoisseur
Getting a rush of adrenaline from Google Pay notifications. We treat every tap, beep, and 'suspicious activity' email the way others treat stock markets.
Latest notification: 0.3 seconds ago
Operations
Live Dashboard
Real-time metrics from the front lines of being a person.
Weekly Pollen Exposure
Notification Adrenaline Index
Tap the button to simulate a fresh alert.
Annual Report
Impact at a Glance
Join the Initiative
Get the weekly bulletin: pollen counts, mom-approved recipe roundups, and a curated list of things that beeped.
Global Health is a side project by pokemenow. Not affiliated with any real health organization, mom, or blade of grass.